I was listening to NPR and they talked about how international adoptions into the US were 23,000 just 8 years ago. And now, in the hopes of creating transparency, last year it was only 10,000. Somewhere in the region of 13,000 less children adopted internationally each year. Sad. Even if you admit that child trafficking and abuse cannot be guaranteed in our countries, something we must admit, even if it was 99% fine, then more than 12,000 kids a year are losing out. Who says these 13,000 kids a year are fine. Institutionalization at its very best, is ok. It is nothing compared to being loved and cherished in even a mediocre family. I get sad if I think about it, so I try not to. But it's reality. For this reason, I have plans to start 2 non-profits. 1st, to assist Indian origin families in the US to adopt from India. It's getting harder, smaller agencies are shutting down, but we must still try. Even if it takes longer. 2d, to help orphanages in India get the license that would allow their children to have a chance to be on the international adoption list. I support India wanting their kids to 1st stay in India if possible. But there are too many kids. Domestic Indians rarely will take those older, darker, special needs kids. We will and do regularly.
Then I watched 'Iron Lady' about Margaret Thatcher. I was a child in the Thatcher era in London. The film took me to a less than happy trip down memory lane. IRA bombings. Economic difficulties. Strikes. Electicity shortages. Oil price spikes and long lines for petrol. Skinheads and race riots. It was a difficult time. That was a backdrop to my childhood as an immigrant going to a privileged posh school, where I felt like the Beverly Hillbillies character for all my lack of British good breeding and etiquette. We were working class. I worked with my family. It was hard for my parents to find the money to pay the fees. Thatcher had to do what all women did have to do and still have to do... work twice as hard and overcome all the prejudices against women and not getting adequate respect. If a man is tough, he is admired. If a woman is tough, she is frequently labelled a bitch. It's not the past. It still happens. Women can't have it all. If they don't have a family, then have had to give something up. If they have a family, they still have to dedicate less time, or else a slew of nannies raise their children which is not ideal no matter how wonderful the nanny.
And then I keep hearing stories about the ex Army shooter who killed people from my community this weekend. It is a reminder that some people will always find us different in a way that is not acceptable. I have a landlord who simply refuses to respond to simple maintenance issues. I am accused of misuing the toilet if it clogs and they will refuse to attend. When it is 90 degrees in our living room and the only fan doesn't work, she says, I don't think the owner will agree to fix or replace it. Even when I ask the electrician how much it would cost and he sayd $60!!! Right in front of her. And still she says no! It is has become obvious that racism is the only rational explanation for the blatant unlawful actions of Coldwell Banker. If I try to insist that things be done, they say you can leave, rather than fix it. Growing up Indian in 1970's London, we were abused "Pakis go home." We were not Pakistani. Just as now we are not Muslim. But what if we were? It's the ignorance of the racist not to care and probably not to even know there is a difference. And none of us should be targeted. As I watched Iron Lady, as I see stories about the Sikhs killed at the gurdwara in Wisconsin, and as I deal with racism today with Coldwell Banker, I am frustrated. And angry. Do I sit quietly and learn to forgive these mean ignorant people.
What do I teach my kids. We are different. We are coloured. We are nice people. When will Sofi and Tara first get hurt and wonder if their skin colour had something to do with it. What do I say? What if it's true? Racism exists, but it's not safe to be openly racist anymore. So it has gone underground. While most people are more cosmopolitan and educated with mass communication at our fingertips, it drives the bigot and racists underground. More sly. Harder to notice. Scarier. And I don't know how to answer all the upsetting questions in my head.
Then I watched 'Iron Lady' about Margaret Thatcher. I was a child in the Thatcher era in London. The film took me to a less than happy trip down memory lane. IRA bombings. Economic difficulties. Strikes. Electicity shortages. Oil price spikes and long lines for petrol. Skinheads and race riots. It was a difficult time. That was a backdrop to my childhood as an immigrant going to a privileged posh school, where I felt like the Beverly Hillbillies character for all my lack of British good breeding and etiquette. We were working class. I worked with my family. It was hard for my parents to find the money to pay the fees. Thatcher had to do what all women did have to do and still have to do... work twice as hard and overcome all the prejudices against women and not getting adequate respect. If a man is tough, he is admired. If a woman is tough, she is frequently labelled a bitch. It's not the past. It still happens. Women can't have it all. If they don't have a family, then have had to give something up. If they have a family, they still have to dedicate less time, or else a slew of nannies raise their children which is not ideal no matter how wonderful the nanny.
And then I keep hearing stories about the ex Army shooter who killed people from my community this weekend. It is a reminder that some people will always find us different in a way that is not acceptable. I have a landlord who simply refuses to respond to simple maintenance issues. I am accused of misuing the toilet if it clogs and they will refuse to attend. When it is 90 degrees in our living room and the only fan doesn't work, she says, I don't think the owner will agree to fix or replace it. Even when I ask the electrician how much it would cost and he sayd $60!!! Right in front of her. And still she says no! It is has become obvious that racism is the only rational explanation for the blatant unlawful actions of Coldwell Banker. If I try to insist that things be done, they say you can leave, rather than fix it. Growing up Indian in 1970's London, we were abused "Pakis go home." We were not Pakistani. Just as now we are not Muslim. But what if we were? It's the ignorance of the racist not to care and probably not to even know there is a difference. And none of us should be targeted. As I watched Iron Lady, as I see stories about the Sikhs killed at the gurdwara in Wisconsin, and as I deal with racism today with Coldwell Banker, I am frustrated. And angry. Do I sit quietly and learn to forgive these mean ignorant people.
What do I teach my kids. We are different. We are coloured. We are nice people. When will Sofi and Tara first get hurt and wonder if their skin colour had something to do with it. What do I say? What if it's true? Racism exists, but it's not safe to be openly racist anymore. So it has gone underground. While most people are more cosmopolitan and educated with mass communication at our fingertips, it drives the bigot and racists underground. More sly. Harder to notice. Scarier. And I don't know how to answer all the upsetting questions in my head.
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