Time flies. Another 6 weeks since any update from me. GOOD NEWS! This Valentines Day, I was given the best gift of my life... Sofi and I officially finally legally became mother and daughter!!! It's a big relief to know that she is now mine. We had been to Jalandhar many times, it was exhausting, going on the train on Thursday the 20th for our 21st appearance, only to be told by the judge no news and no decision could be made. Luckily though he gave us a quick next date for Tuesday the 25th (the day before Republic Day). SO we went back to Delhi by train Friday evening, only to have to go back on the Monday for the next appearance. We drove down and Sofi did not sleep for even a minute, so it felt like a really really long 8 hours. Needless to say, almost immediately after checking into the Radission she passed out. We wernt to court and were told - yes, you guessed it - he was still not ready to make a decision. I had anticipated this, and since the following day was a national holiday, i assumed we would not get another hearing until Thursday - which is exactly what happened. The lawyer was impressed that we had figured out a little of the rhythm of the Indian courts. On Thursday the 27th, the judge promised us he would give the Adoption Order that afternoon. We wanted it to be done in front of us, but no such luck. I pressed for a speedy writing up the Order, as another typical delay is it taking forever for the judge's clerk and stenographers to write up an Order. After chasing it daily, the Adoption Order was declared and issued on that day, the 27th, but it took another 2 weeks to get a copy of it written up.
Not shockingly, yet another issue arose. I was informed by the lawyer the judge would be approving the order only with me putting up a surety bond. I was told a Jalandhar property of a 3d person had to be put up. This was an impossible requirement. We thought about whether we could put up another property in India. And then after some thought, I told the lawyer that I refused to give another surety. Apparently there is some old supreme court case saying a bond should be given. I believe this applied to cases proceeding under the GAWA (Guardians and Wards Act) where the adoption is not complete when the child leaves India. It makes sense a surety should be required to encourage people to make sure they complete the adoption in their home country. Apparently there have been cases of people taking children, essentially as slaves, and subjecting them to a life of nelgect and abuse in varied ways. We all agree these abuses must be abolsihed but is there really anyway to guarantee it gets completely eliminated? I am not sure. The process gets harder and harder, but even the dedicated sincere parents-to-be get scared off, so there are more children left to fester in orphanages where they experience a different type of abuse and neglect and deprivation. So it is hard, either way. I reminded my lawyer that I had paid alot of money to my US agency and they had already given a bond on my behalf in case of any problems and that surely had to satisfy any bond requirement. I stood firm on this point. At my insistence the lawyer made an application to the court to finalize the order without any further monetary surety. I went alone to Jalandhar on Feb 10th and luckily the judge accepted my status as an officer of the court, as a lawyer, and accepted a personal bond from me. Another hurdle cleared.
We took a much needed weekend off and attended Anahat Pirzada and Gursimran Sibia's wedding in Chandigarh. We stayed in the Taj. Yummy overeating at the breakfast buffet every day! In a year of what has seemed interminable process, this was a brilliant time to let it all hang out. Great food, music and everything. The best sangeet ever, with Arif Lohar playing 4 hours at least of rocking Punjabi music, and I danced my little heart out for the first time in ages. Sofi slept soundly at the hotel. She came out for a few functions, like the Mehndi as it was a daytime affair, and she behaved really well. Took a nap after some time. And danced a little too. Sofi also came to the Anand Karaj at the farm and had some good running around and then a deep sleep nap amidst the lush greenery.
After all the wedding festivities, we set off on Valentines Day to Jalandhar. We had an appointment to meet the lawyer and to go to the Registrar to obtain the Adoption Deed. The last pieace. We did it!!! And the lawyer put out a little happy story in the papers the next day to let people know of some of the good things that happen. It appeared in the Kesari and perhaps another paper in Hindi. Have saved a copy for Sofi.
Other than that, we have been going to school and Sofi just loves it. She is singing some of the songs and tunes at home. And after 2 weeks of not being in school, this week she remembered so much and had a great time. It is nice to be back in Delhi, our home away from home. We had a school picnic at the Rail Museum on Feb 25th and that was fun, having a picnic and riding the toy train. Sofi pretty much has all her main teeth now, but seems to be teething her molars and has fevers and some unhappy hours from time to time, but generally a happy, bubbly, loving, wonderful child. I am very lucky to have her!
