Cherishing our daughters of India

Today I am reminded of one of the incidents in my adoption journey. I cannot properly recall the true relationship, but roughly, my mum's cousin's daughter-in-law's cousin sister, or someone similarly distantly related to me, had a 3d daughter. Her husband, and I believe his family, were disappointed. They are not bad people. But the culture of India, and especially in our home state of Punjab, is that, a girl is a debt with no reward. In financial and economic terms, she is measured as a pure burden. You clothe her, feed her, maybe educate her, and then you must give her a good dowry in order to get someone to marry her and take her off your hands. In financial terms, parents worry. A son however, will take care of you (you hope!) and his wife will bring in a good dowry to the family. He will never leave you so it is perceived to be a good investment to put everything you have towards him. So, this family, was anxious about their 3d daughter. My mum's cousin had become aware of my mission, to adopt a truly needy daughter of India who needed me. With the best of intentions, she and her daughter-in-law drove me to their village, where I met with the mother of this 3d daughter. I was told that this little girl was available to be adopted, to save her from a life where she was resented and treated harshly. She was approximately 15 months old. She would not leave her mother for a moment. Her mother clearly loved her. I said nothing much. But on leaving I told my family that I could not adopt a child in these circumstances. She had a family. I would not interfere in that relationship. And she was not truly an orphan in the sense she would have to be for me to want to adopt her. Some months later, not long after, the girl's father had a bad accident. The family believed it was a direct result of them not honoring their 3d daughter. I understand they took that sign as a warning not to mistreat her. I hope and pray that she is doing well in her family.

And glad every day that I was united with Sofi. The love of my life.