Agencies

I was shocked that the placement agency I had selected suddenly shut down their India program. Journeys of the Heart seemed to have a decent track record, unlike many of the agencies. They will not return the money I paid even though they have done nothing! This obstacle meant that I was more discouraged. Many agencies out there promise alot and have no idea how to handle things in the increasingly centralized process that India is using. Most of the agencies do not have any Indian staff and don't have anyone on the ground in India to keep things moving. They charge alot of money and I know too many people who are still waiting without any signs of a referral. India's CARA is keeping a tight grip on new registrations, keeping the list more or less closed to any new families, so that it appears unlikely that new families will get referrals any time soon, even if you can get registered. There are some families coming home with their children. Many wait longer than ever. And the process even after referral is unpredictable in length. Intercountry adoption gets harder and harder every year.

Stalled

Since my return from India, a little over 2 years ago, I have been trying to get myself to a place where I am ready to start the 2d adoption process. However, given the increasingly difficult timelines others are experiencing and the ever-more-challenging rules and mystery of the Indian process, I remain ambivalent about whether I should indeed proceed. The 1st time was really the worst experience of my life and not something I feel ready to face again. Last time I was alone and it was hard enough, this time Sofi would also be forced to suffer, so I don't think it is in her best interests at this time. Instead, I decided I would explore adoption locally as there are soo many wonderful children in need of a family like ours. I am now in the process of being approved as a foster parent, which is the procedure for adopting children whose parents' rights have been terminated. The process is transparent and I feel much more comfortable embarking on this next journey.

Sofi is keen to have a sister. And tells me that her sister grabs. She draws pictures for her, and is clearly happy about the idea of a sibling. She is wishing that we would get a baby, but is accepting the reality that her sister will be closer in age to herself and not a little baby. She agrees that babies really don't play much and mostly sleep, eat, pee and poop. We still don't know when it will all happen, but likely it will be in 2014, once we are licensed and approved.